The Bachelorette - Caroline's Recap

Caroline obsessed Bachelorette

In case you haven’t heard, I am doing a weekly feature on the Kidd Kraddick Morning Show as the “Bachelorette Expert.” This stems from years of watching (honestly since I was 16 or 17), being obsessed with this guilty pleasure and my funny commentary via live-feed on Twitter. Since I’m doing a recap on the morning show and I thought I’d do a quick recap on the blog, so you can share in my love of trash tv!

If you haven’t been keeping up, here’s who’s left!

The Guys

Wells – The Radio DJ from Nashville
James Taylor – The guy who’s been my crush and favorite from Day 1.
Derrick – The hottest guy on the show and a real contender to be the next Bachelor. He also looks like Jim from The Office)
Luke – He’s just Luke.

The Plastics

aka Chase, Alex, Jordan and Robby aka The Pretty Boys. This is a reference from the movie “Mean Girls” and I think it works!

Chase – Pretty. That’s about it.Alex – Short, military guy who is starting to show his A-hole side)
Jordan – A former NFL player and brother of Green Bay Packer, Aaron Rodgers.
Robby – The guy J-Si refers to as “The guy with the beard”. Personally, I think he may have another kind of beard too, if you know what I mean. But all the front-runners are all so groomed, quaffed and metro, you really can’t tell if they’re gay or straight!

This week the crew is in Buenos Aires, which has a special place in my heart because my mom is from Buenos Aires and we still have a ton of family there. It is a very romantic city but unfortunately that romance didn’t help Wells.

Poor Wells got the boot last night after having a ton of pressure put on him from The Plastics for being the only guy in the house who hasn’t kissed JoJo. Their “interactive theatre” at Fuerza Bruta, ended with them half naked in a swimming pool (of course) where Wells finally planted one on JoJo. She reacted with a “YOU DID IT!” which is what you tell a one year old who just took his first steps, not your potential husband. They followed with dinner and awkward conversation and then JoJo kicked him off because Wells just shouldn’t be on this show.

James Taylor. Umm James, your insecurities are showing. You may want to tuck that back in. Not a huge fan of that … James doesn’t feel like he’s as hot as the other guys so he did what every Bachelorette/Bachelor contestant does when they think they’re getting kicked off … start shit talking another contestant.

James pulls some BS about how he and Jordan got into an argument over a poker game and then called Jordan a celebrity and entitled. When JoJo approached Jordan about it, he acted totally cool and nonchalant proving James was again, showing his insecurities.

In other news, JoJo took Derrick and Chase on the dreaded, 2-on-1 date. Tango lessons showed the obvious passion between JoJo and Derrick but not so much with Chase. She confronted Chase about it, but he smooth talked his way out of it and JoJo sent Derrick home.

Now, what happened next may be my favorite moment in Bachelor/Bachelorette history … EVER! A busted old minivan picks up Derrick for his ride of shame back to the US. While Chase and JoJo continue their date, serenaded with “Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina, we see clips of Derrick sobbing and talking to himself in third person saying “Don’t cry, don’t cry”. In the meantime, the performer is singing “Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina.” DON’T CRY. It was literally TV gold. It was everything I’ve ever wanted and more. Plus, it puts Derrick in a great light to be the next Bachelor.

The rose ceremony was anti-climactic. JoJo kept Robby, Jordan, Chase and Luke and had one rose to give to either Alex or James Taylor. Then, in true Bachelor fashion, she had a private convo with Chris Harrison making us think she’s going to send them both home. And then she kept them both.

I said this on air, but I wish she would just send everyone home. I don’t care for any of the guys anymore and I’m over the pretty boys trying to prove their manliness. I’m predicting Alex and James Taylor go home next and the top three will be Jordan, Robby and Luke. I also think there will be some sort of plot twist with Jordan (the front runner) and we’ll either end up loving him or hating him.

I hope you enjoyed The Bachelor dramz as much as I did. Make sure to follow me on Twitter and Snapchat – CarolineCradick – for Bachelorette commentary on Monday nights and other random antics from my life! And don’t miss the recap on the Kidd Kraddick Morning Show on Tuesdays at 7am! Or you can listen here!

xo,
Caroline

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